Maybe it wasn’t fair, but she
really would do almost anything for him. Building a life just to
leave it behind and starting all over again, however, wasn’t
included in almost. When she got older she might change her mind.
People did change after all, but right now she couldn’t see herself
marry, have children, watch them grow up and just one day desert them
the way Urufu had been forced to do.
Marry, when
did I start thinking about marry? When Urufu started talking
studying together for more than the life she had lived, that’s
when. We haven’t even slept together, so what gives me the right
to think about marrying him?
The random
thoughts were all excuses. She might have forced the topic upon Kuri,
but it wasn’t one she liked to linger on. Noriko admitted it to
herself. She wanted him, she wanted a life with him, she wanted kids
with him, but most of all she wanted him to want her. Maybe it wasn't
healthy, but it was what it was.
Short legs and
long streets were, as always, a reason for her to be tardy, but now
jumbled thoughts made her steps even slower than usual. Half an hour
earlier she declined Kuri’s offer to share a taxi to their hotel,
and by now she already had to apologise quite a few times to people
she walked into.
Attention on
your surroundings. Urufu would have said that. He did, more than
once, when they walked in magic greenery to meet Kuri earlier.
She stopped to
pretend looking at the view offered by a wide boulevard. In truth it
was a rather boring view with an endless line of temples darkening
one side and the Kyoto Tower far behind her. She was reminded of an
old paper back fantasy her parents had in their shelves, or rather a
lot of them, all in hideous colours and written in English. Pratchett
or something like that was the author, but a memory lingered of her
mother telling her the real author of that scene was far older still.
Kuri’s
world. Those books belong to her world, and my parents’. That
meant they belonged to Urufu’s as well, and Noriko sulked when she
allowed that admission to climb foremost to her mind. That world
wasn’t hers.
How do I make
mine his to share? She dug in her pocket for her phone. Why
not call him and ask?
Gods! The
inbox looked like as if she had stayed bedridden for days. What’s
going on? Jeniferu! There were several messages from the
charismatic little monster, and while she was more subdued since her
disgusting experience she still retained that natural ability to make
friends. Lots and lots of friends. Most of the circles where Noriko
kept acquaintances swollen by dozens of new members told their story
of Noriko’s new won fame.
It just never
ends, does it? Among the comments were several which still echoed
of the chaos last year. While Noriko suspected her life became lost
most of its familiar obscurity with only her test results being part
of the rumour mill, the sheer magnitude of her blindness shocked her.
From the moment she got involved with the arrivals her life was
turned upside down.
No, that’s
not right. From the moment she made true friends she wanted
around her for years and years ahead she became part of their lives.
I might as well admit it. She added her own share to the
insanity they called high school days. Being one half of the twins
including Ryu was more than enough to elevate her fame.
But I never
knew about you. Or rather she never accepted how much Urufu
influenced those around him. Kuri’s stardom created an illusion of
obscurity. Noriko shook her head and smiled. So she was famous among
the Irishima first and second years as well now. She had no right
being surprised. They made up the majority of the club after all.
Third years?
That can’t be right. Those
names definitely belonged to their seniors. Ah, of course!
The first cultural festival. There were messages from members of the
student council from that time. There was also one from Nao. Noriko
stared at her phone. I almost forgot. Reading his name hurt more than
she thought it would. Idiot! You should just have told me.
But they would still have broken up. If not now then when he left
school to pursue whatever dreams he had.
Her
steps brought her out of the perfect grid making up most of central
Kyoto. Her hotel lay close by. Whatever thoughts she needed to digest
in solitude had to be handled right now. Time’s running out. Should
I tell Kyoko? That wasn’t the
question. Urufu? Could
couples keep secrets from each other?
Waiting
for a taxi to pass her Noriko played with that question in her head.
What would the adult answer be? It had to be the adult one, or else
she wouldn’t be able to stay by Urufu’s side.
Gah! My head
hurts! I’m still a child after all.
Suddenly all her wants felt like grand delusions. Life, marriage,
children. Such grand dreams when she didn’t even know the answer to
such a simple question. Two answers. Yes or no. What right did she
have to aspire to a lifetime together if she couldn’t pick one out
of two?
Urufu’s
voice rang in her head. His admonishing voice, his loving voice, his
scared voice, his arrogant voice, but foremost of them all, his
caring voice. “Does it have to be easy?” it said. “Must there
be just one answer?” it added. “I’ll listen to you even you
have no answer.” The last promise came with a timbre of she knew
all too well. Almost, she almost had her answer.
“Noriko!
I was worried.”
Huh?
That didn’t sound like a ghost in her head. Noriko looked up from
her phone. Urufu! “I
felt like walking,” she said.
He rushed to meet
her. “Noriko, where have… Noriko, I hope you had fun.”
There it was
again. This time for real and not just in her head. Urufu’s voice
held both uncertainty and worries. Ah, I understand! He’s just
older. He doesn’t know everything. He worries. Noriko opened
her arms and allowed herself to be swallowed in his embrace. No,
small as she was, she swallowed him up as well.
So that’s
it! You’re not an adult because you know everything. You’re an
adult because you keep living despite not knowing anything at all.
She made her decision.
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